Grateful

I had to post how I feel today.  Yesterday was an interesting day.  Our stake conference had the adult session and I had planned on going for a few weeks.  I got up relatively early for a Saturday, started cleaning the house, ironing (which took FOREVER), and laundry.  I was in my pj's until about 4pm, then I started to get ready to go to the adult session that started at 7pm.  It took me forever to get ready and while doing so I started thinking how much I didn't want to go.  I started to cry and felt way overwhelmed at the prospect of attending.  I got myself ready and forced myself to go, I had borrowed the ward tablecloths for a dance, washed them and made sure they were ready to go back.  I think if I didn't need to return them I would have convinced myself to not go.  A bit of background here is that this happens to me when I go to the temple also, not quite to this extent, but I get anxiety and want to go home.  I have come to the conclusion that Satan must be wanting to stop me so badly that he will try anything to get me not do something that I know I need to do.  I must be on the right path because this feeling has been popping up far to often and overwhelming especially yesterday.  At the conference the spirit was so strong, it wasn't because of what was said, but it was the truth behind it.  The topic was missionary work and for me it is a hard thing to do in the traditional sense.  Being a single mother I can't have the missionaries over for dinner and the people I work with have had the lessons and have chosen other paths.  I felt the "I'm not doing enough" feeling last night until President Peterson brought up a great point which was converting someone to the gospel can be you converting yourself.  I always had the belief that no matter whether your born into the church or baptized later we are all converted in one form or another.  Our stories are all different and all powerful about our conversion.  I know that for me it has been a long process that will never end because the Lord has so many more things in-store for me that I must be traveling that path right now for the adversary to try so hard to get me away from it.  I can now, as I did last night, say a prayer for strength to do what I need to do.  It took away the anxiety and I made it to a great and marvelous meeting that enriched my soul.  I am so blessed to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I love the gospel and right now am sharing it in the way I can.  I will continue to do so until the Lord's path for me changes and the I will do it in different ways.